


Dearly Detested

by LaDragonaria



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Time Skip, Requited Unrequited Love, but everyone's living peacefully so it's fine and no one has to die and I don't have to cry, cute sad but cute?, rated mature for any additional chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-25 03:04:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20717042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDragonaria/pseuds/LaDragonaria
Summary: Hubert has always put Edelgard's needs above all else. But that doesn't mean he has no desires of his own...[takes place presumably just before Hubert and Ferdinand's A rank support]





	1. Devoted

**Author's Note:**

> I spent 20 minutes trying to decide on a summary and please know I have suffered.
> 
> This is rated mature just in case I do more chapters of a more steamy nature. This is a little more experimental compared to other fics I've done, so please let me know if you like it and would like more chapters.
> 
> If I do more chapters, expect more characters probably. Since this is an "everybody lives" AU, you'll probably see more characters from all over if I feel like I can accurately portray them.

"There really isn't anyone who's captured your heart, Hubie?" Dorothea asked, leaning in closer and staring up at him, encroaching on his personal bubble impishly. "You'd tell me if there was, wouldn't you?"

"There is no woman who rules my thoughts," Hubert answered flatly. "And even if there were, what makes you think I would tell you?"

"You've made it abundantly clear that your feelings for Edie are deeper than love, but not romantic... I just want to know who our dearly dour strategist pines for. That's all."

"Again, what makes you think that I would tell you?"

Dorothea pouted. She was acting quite childish but that was part of the charm of their banter. If she were truly upset, Hubert knew, she would have grown cold and ended the conversation.

After a moment, her expression softened and she looked up at him, gently this time. There was a crushing sincerity in her voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. But you must understand... I believe that everyone has at least one soul mate. If I'm completely honest... I had worried that your devotion to Edie was... holding you back somehow."

"Oh?"

"Edie is... a force of nature, and larger than life. It would be difficult to find a lady like her. I... guess I worry that you being so close to her would make it hard to find someone. You'd always be comparing her to Edie, I mean. Your friendship with Edie is so... deep and significant. Most people will never have that kind of strong relationship, romantic or platonic. The rest of us must seem frightfully dull."

"At times frightful. But... rarely are any of you dull," Hubert smirked.

He shook his head and began again.

"There is no use in romance and love. My life promises to be one of selfless devotion to Lady Edelgard. It may even be necessary to marry for political reasons, and it may become required to kill off my own spouse if they become a threat."

"I'd... like to say that's an exaggeration, but nobles are always scheming."

"So you see, my heart is not my own."

"...Hubie, I love you to pieces but you are completely dense sometimes," Dorothea pressed her hand to forehead, exasperated. "Edie wouldn't maneuver you like a chesspiece. And your heart is definitely your own. Always. You're allowed to have things you like or want without Edie's permission."

"Be that as it may, I am Her Majesty's retainer and attendant. My role as her minister puts me in contact with her everyday. You would be surprised how many assassination attempts are inside jobs. It would be entirely reasonable to believe an assassin would try to woo myself or someone in Lady Edelgard's innermost circle, only for the chance to strike. Therefore I can see no woman in my life for the foreseeable future... Vetting any suitors of mine would take years of background and security checks and investigation. The interrogation period alone is lengthy enough to scare away most women..."

"You can't possibly be..." Dorothea sighed. "No, you're definitely being serious."

"House Vestra has a reputation to uphold."

\- - -

It was in Hubert's nature to worry. Or, maybe "worry" was the wrong word for it. Consider?

Yes. It was in Hubert's nature to consider things... people, with their strengths and weaknesses... plans, with flaws and risks... Hubert spent a good amount of his time every day considering options and evaluating the people around him.

Who would be useful? Who would be dangerous? Who was an advantage, and who was a string to pull?

"Hubert, you worry too much," Edelgard said breathlessly.

"It is something to consider. That is all."

"Leaving that aside, I had something I wanted to ask you," the Emperor regarded him seriously, as if she had been choosing her moment to bring this up for some time. "Are you... happy?"

He couldn't stop his eyebrows from climbing in surprise.

"Happy, Your Majesty?"

"With this. With... me." She frowned, but only subtly. "With our lives the way they are. I have become the Emperor and achieved one of my greatest dreams. But are you happy, Hubert?"

"I am proud of you, Your Majesty. I have confidence in you." He could tell by the way her frown deepened that he was not saying what she wanted to hear. "...My happiness is not essential for your success. It is not worth considering."

"Hubert..." Edelgard now looked... sad? It was hard to read her emotions sometimes. He knew more than anyone how capable she was of hiding her feelings when it suited her. "You are my oldest and dearest friend, my most loyal retainer... I trust you unfailingly, and I know you trust me as well."

"Yes, my lady."

"...So please know that when I sought to create a world where people were less bound by... outdated rules and antiquated notions... where people could finally rise up and take their own destinies in their hands... that does in fact include you, Hubert."

She struggled with the words. They felt more grandiose than they should have been. Loftier and more confusing than she wanted.

"What good is a better world if you are not happy too?"

"The world you've created and will continue to create does not depend on my being... happy."

"Maybe not, but I still want what's best for you. I look at you interacting with the others and it makes me think that you could be..." She shook her head. The words didn't make sense. "I'm sorry, perhaps I'm being too nosey."

"My lady?"

"Please, don't mind me. Just... forget it for now. As long as you aren't unhappy it isn't important."

"As you say, my lady."

\- - -

Hubert spent the rest of the day doing what he always did: considering things, and correcting unseemly behavior.

Caspar's shouting, Linhardt's laziness...

Thankfully there were hard workers in their group like Petra, and Dorothea for the most part. And Ferdinand, though Hubert would never admit that to his face. 

He was acutely aware that Ferdinand carried out his duties seriously, often creating extra work for himself, and taking the time to correct the more egregious behavior he came across. It was Dorothea who first had pointed out how similar they were in that regard.

He was the Prime Minister, after all. If anyone was going to work hard, it should be him. Ferdinand was relentlessly cheerful, a hard worker, and far more earnest than he could ever be. Ferdinand was as earnest and chipper as Hubert was duplicitous and grim. That was how they worked best. And it was no wonder that they hated each other.

It seemed like they couldn't go very long without arguing. 

And yet... Hubert thought. If someone were going to rule my thoughts...

And that was when he saw him.

In the library, surrounded by books and scrolls, Ferdinand von Aegir sat slumped over in his chair, face down in his books. With a calm and even stride, Hubert made sure that the man was simply sleeping, and not in fact dead.

It was a hard habit to break. The library was open to all, day or night. And Ferdinand was sleeping right near an open window.

"Foolish..." Hubert mumbled to himself. "Anyone could slip in and kill you, and you wouldn't even notice. You'll be lucky if you get away with just catching a cold..."

An almost sardonic chuckle creaked out from his throat. Without thinking, he gently placed his hand on Ferdinand's head, brushing a longer strand from his eyes.

Ferdinand had fallen asleep in his books. There was a quill and an ink bottle nearby, so he must have been... studying? Or doing some kind of research. Whatever it was, he had made a cradle for his head out of his arms and was most likely getting ink stains on his sleeves now.

"You spend all your time and energy trying to fix everyone and everything, and you can't even fall asleep in your own bed." Hubert said in a low voice, to presumably no one since Ferdinand was still fast asleep. "You spend so much time fixated on your own nobility. How utterly ignoble you look right now. You should be ashamed."

He was reluctant to remove his hand from Ferdinand's head. Instead, the hand moved down to his arms. Gently, he lifted Ferdinand's arms to pull the book out from under him. It had been creased in some places due to Ferdinand's ill-timed nap. Hubert shook his head with disapproval, but was still smiling, at least as close to a smile as Hubert could comfortably manage. He smoothed the book's pages and closed it. Neatly and quietly he organized Ferdinand's workspace.

"You are such..." Hubert crafted an insult but let it fade away as he exhaled. The smile drooped. "...You care so much for other people, but you really should take better care of yourself."

The irony wasn't lost on him.

He shook his head and moved quickly and silently. In his room, he opened the linen closet and pulled out an unused blanket. There really was no way he could lift Ferdinand and carry him back to his own room without Ferdinand waking up. Someone would definitely see them, or hear them. But the most important thing was that it would probably have begun some kind of argument.

He folded the blanket over his arm and moved again.

On his way, he saw Bernadetta carrying a small tray of food. Instantly his eyes narrowed as he swooped in.

"Bernadetta." His tone caught her so off-guard that the entire tray rattled precariously.

"I don't know a thing about Dorte's new sweater!" Bernadetta shouted reflexively before turning around. "Hubert...?! Oh, no, Bernie...! The grim vulture of death has come to claim you! But... I'm not ready...! At least... At least let me eat my cake first... please?"

"Bernadetta, I have not the time for your delusions. All I wanted to say was that it is unhealthy to eat such a large meal before bedtime." Hubert scolded her quickly. "Also, please be careful with the tray. If you drop it, you'll only make more work for the people who have to clean the floors. And please remember to clean your dishes and do not let them pile up and fester in your room. I do not want to hear about an infestation caused by your negligence."

\- - -

After taking the time to set Bernadetta straight, he glided with purpose back to the library. Ferdinand was still there. Hubert was... happier about that than he realized. Now that he thought about it, if Ferdinand had woken up and left, carrying around a blanket would have been a wasted effort.

He took his time unfolding the blanket, quietly laying it over Ferdinand's back and tucking it around the man's shoulders. It proved more difficult than he thought to keep the blanket up. When he was done, he quietly shut made sure the windows in the library were shut to keep the cold night air out.

When he was done, he was inexplicably drawn to place his hand on Ferdinand's back. He could hear the deep and even breaths, feel the rise and fall of him breathing. He had never... anticipated that the sounds of someone sleeping could be peaceful to hear. 

He was reluctant to say anything else out loud. But his thoughts were loud and clear... As he waited there in the library, and later as he went through the halls and up to his room. 

The thoughts would not stop... The feelings of his own heart, the thoughts that belonged only to him...

_They ask me who my heart belongs to, and I say my heart is not mine to give. That I have no choice in my own happiness. Because that is my role._

_And if I could believe that, how much easier this would be..._

_Because the one who rules my thoughts... of course, it is you._

_If an enemy strikes at you, I am terrified. I rush to your side to aid you. Not because we are allies, not because we are friends... but because the thought of losing you... frightens me. It isn't devotion that drives me, I realized... _

_I don't know how it happened, that all my thoughts turned to you. You, who brighten every room into which you step... you who can do the things that I cannot do... you, who can become the person that I will not be. _

_But all the same, I think of you. And I wonder how you must think of me. Or what you would do if you knew I was in love, much less in love with you._

_And if you knew I had feelings for someone, you would ask, as only you would: Why do you not say anything? Why do you not tell the object of your affection how you feel? Why can you not simply say the words and let them be heard?_

...

_You should know. I am a coward._

_Would it surprise you to know it? Would you laugh?_

_It is easier to protect you than to love you. And it is far easier to protect you than to make you happy._

_I hope one day to be brave enough..._

_But the thought of you, recoiling from my touch, disgusted by my presence... Am I brave enough to face that? Am I made of stone?_

_It truly would be easier, to be made of ice and stone, and to not care how you think of me. But I do. Because it's you._

_Because of you, and who you are..._

_And nothing scares me more than the thought of you, turning your heart against me._

_To be left alone. With nothing but my feelings, and no one to tell them to, not even you. Especially not you. Yes. That frightens me._

_Until I am braver, and until I am at peace with the words "no" and "goodbye"... Until I am at peace with the idea of all my small moments with you turned empty... Of every memory tainted in sadness and the ideas of what could have been and what will not be... _

Hubert sat on his bed, considering what he should do next. "Maybe he would like some tea... Something strong that can help him stay awake...? Or is it better to pick a more relaxing blend..."

He considered his options, a small grin on his face. He was planning every detail, of how to give him his gift. Everything down to the last detail. He wondered what kind of face Ferdinand would make. The thought made him smile wider, less sharp and frightening than his usual smiles. He wanted... He wanted Ferdinand to like the gift. It was important that it was perfect.

__

_But until then, I am happy. I am happy with the space you occupy inside my heart, inside my thoughts, known only to me._


	2. His Side vs His Side

Sunlight spilled through the windows of the library, specks of dust floating through sunbeams.

If someone had seen him there snoozing before, no one had said anything or tried to wake him up. Ferdinand slowly opened his eyes, his head buried in his hands. All at once realization hit him and he shot up from the chair loudly with a start.

"Hey... Easy there," Linhardt said blandly. He yawned wide, utterly lacking in manners. "This is a library. You're supposed to be quiet."

"Linhardt...?!" Ferdinand said, too loud. He quickly adjusted his tone even though there was no one else in the library. He was now speaking in a shouting whisper, "What are you doing here?"

"Me? I practically live here, studying, researching... finding a nice sunny spot to take a nap," Linhardt trailed off.

Ferdinand frowned. Finding a sunny place to take a nap was more what someone would expect from a cat, not a grown adult.

"Seems like someone else had the same idea. I'm surprised. Actually, I'm a little impressed you had the forethought to bring a blanket. Putting that much effort into taking a nap seems... counterintuitive for someone like me though."

Ferdinand looked at him rather perplexed. The fog of sleep and confusion was clearing, and he looked back at his chair. A blanket that had been on him was now on the chair, slowly spilling out onto the floor. Without thinking, he snatched the blanket and started to fold it.

"I did not intend to fall asleep here. Obviously this blanket is not mine. I would never..." Ferdinand said to Linhardt as he meticulously folded the blanket up. "I was in the middle of researching policy and... When was that?"

Ferdinand tried to think back, pressing his palm to his forehead.

"That must have been... late last night? Did I really allow myself to fall asleep here...?" He wasn't sure what level of shame was appropriate here.

"If it at all makes you feel better, I do not care. I merely meant that it was odd to see you sleeping in public. Seems more like something I'd do," Linhardt continued to speak without much emotion. He was setting himself up at a seat in the sunlight. "Still, seems like you were pulling an all nighter and you lost. It happens to the best of us. Make sure you stretch. I find whenever I fall asleep in a chair that my shoulders and back are always stiff."

Linhardt spoke with barely any interest in the subject. He wasn't a gossip, and the goings on of each individual person didn't really interest him.

"...What are you doing?"

"I'm going to take a nap, what does it look like?"

"If you're going to sleep, you should sleep in your own room," Ferdinand said without thinking. Linhardt's blank face told him that he had no right to preach. And in any case, it probably wouldn't have stopped him.

"Why are you sleeping here and not your room?" Ferdinand asked, breezing past an imagined retort.

"I just came from my room. Unfortunately it's rather chilly this morning, and the last time I slept outside I was mistaken for a dead body." Linhardt spoke with a kind of dreamy indifference. "Also since it's a library, if someone like you or Hubert were going to scold me, you'd keep your voice down in a library. It was all part of my plan."

Ferdinand huffed loudly. He had learned long ago that being too overbearing with Linhardt would produce the opposite effect. Linhardt was some kind of genius, that was for certain. A veritable sleeping dragon.

"You have a one-track mind and you spend an inordinate amount of time and effort trying to avoid things you dislike. If you spent half the time you take devising new ways to be lazy on something productive, we'd be in a new golden age."

Linhardt looked at him, blank and uninterested.

"You see, I was right. Your scolding was kept at a minimum volume." Linhardt watched Ferdinand carefully before staring at the blanket. "Out of curiosity, where did the blanket come from?"

"Huh?"

"You said you didn't bring it, which would seem to suggest someone left it for you... assuming it isn't a magical blanket. Although, that would be something worth studying."

"Oh. I see... The truth is, I do not know where the blanket came from. It was there when I woke up, although I must confess I too am curious about that. I have no idea who I should be thanking for it..."

"That's right. And you have to return it too," Linhardt nodded.

"Yes, exactly. It's the right thing to do."

"You should get on that. The one responsible is not in the library, so you should go and find them. Somewhere else."

"Yes, I will. I think if we split up the two of us could cover more ground!"

"...I don't recall volunteering for this little mission."

"You do not plan to help me?"

"Running to and fro all around the monastery seems like the kind of job better suited to someone with high energy, like yourself. There's no need for both of us to exert ourselves when one of us has energy to spare and an unyielding sense of responsibility. In truth I would only get in your way."

"..." Ferdinand now felt suddenly very tired.

\- - -

Going all over the monastery and explaining the situation was a time consuming endeavor. Most people had no idea what he was talking about, and having to admit that he had fallen asleep in the library had been privately embarrassing for him. No one really seemed to care that much, but Ferdinand did.

No one had any ideas or any clues. Worse, he would go around the monastery looking for people only to have to retrace his steps to find people. He had gone through the monastery at least three different times. He was accustomed to the long treks and marches into battle against pirates and thieves, traveling all over Fódlan to do it, but his feet were starting to hurt with all the walking he had done.

If nothing else, then it had been a workout.

"Although... I suppose I am slowly eliminating the list of suspects." Ferdinand spoke aloud as he counted off potential suspects on his fingers. "Not Petra, not Dorothea, not Caspar... surely not Edelgard... and definitely not Linhardt..."

It also hadn't been anyone who had originally come from the other houses; Marianne, Mercedes, Annette, Ingrid, Sylvain, Raphael. It also hadn't been Felix, though Felix hadn't wanted to have a conversation about it.

His last option that he could think of was to go to Bernadetta. She was a good person, and friendly, but the way that she would catastrophize things and seem to be having conversations that weren't actually happening was a worrying trend he'd noticed with her.

Coming to Bernadetta's room, he gave it a purposefully gentle knock so as not to startle her too badly.

"Bernadetta? May I speak with you a moment?"

There was the sound of a sudden violent upheaval from the other side of the door, like plates and books and a loud thump.

"...Bernadetta? Are you there?"

"What do you want? I didn't do anything, just so you know! Whatever you heard it had nothing to do with me! Not even Dorte's matching scarf!"

"Dorte? ...Marianne's horse?" Ferdinand asked before shaking his head. "This isn't in regards to anything like that. I only wanted to ask you something."

There was a quick shuffle followed by an uneasy silence.

"...What is it?" The voice was now significantly clearer, as if Bernadetta were pressed up against the door.

"Could you... open the door?"

"..."

"Normally I would not ask and intrude on your private time... But... long story short, I need to return something to someone, but I have no idea who it belongs to. It would be helpful if you could open the door and take a look at it? Perhaps it is yours?"

There was a pause, too long to be normal, but normal for Bernadetta.

The door opened, inch by inch before he could see her nervous face peeking out at him.

"What is it?"

Ferdinand produced the blanket. "It is this blanket. It came into my possession last night or... I suppose maybe in the wee hours of the morning last night. Is it yours by any chance?"

"Mine...?" Bernadetta looked at him funny. "No, I don't think so. I usually just make my own blankets so..."

"Oh. I see..." Ferdinand tried to hide his disappointment. "Sorry for disturbing you then. Good night, Bernadetta."

"W-Wait..." She said suddenly. It must have been loud enough that she thought she was being rude because she lowered her voice. "Actually... I think I might know whose that is."

"You do?" Ferdinand's optimism startled her.

"I-It... I think... it might belong to Hubert, actually."

"Hubert...?" The thought had really not crossed his mind. "Are you certain?"

"I... don't actually know for sure. But last night... I saw Hubert with a blanket like that. I can't really be sure, but I think it was. I didn't get a good luck, but I know for sure he was carrying one."

"I see..." 

"You said... it came into your possession. So, I guess Hubert gave you the blanket and didn't tell you?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. That's a possibility, although... I can't really imagine it. Hubert doesn't seem like the type to give gifts."

"You're wrong," Bernadetta frowned. Her voice was more confident than it usually was. "...Hubert can be nice, in his own way. It's more like... Hubert doesn't say or do things that he finds unnecessary. He's more... Hubert's the kind of guy who shows he cares by his actions. Or by saying the right thing at the right time. He doesn't wait or hesitate... he just... sorta does what he thinks is required. He sorta just... takes care of things?"

"...Yes. You may be right about that. He certainly has the mind of a loyal retainer."

"S-Sorry. I didn't mean to butt into your business." Bernadetta sighed. "I don't really know what I meant to say with all of that. Ohh... Bernie, no one wants to hear you talk. Stupid! Just... Just forget I exist and don't talk to me anymore!"

"Not at all, Bernadetta! You've done me a great service."

"I have...?"

"Yes! You've helped me greatly, and you corrected an erroneous assumption I made. So, I thank you." Their conversation reached a conclusion, as Bernadetta didn't have anything more to say. "I'm going to go now. Have a good night, Bernadetta. And I'm sorry again for disturbing you so late."

"Bye, Ferdinand..." She said as if waiting to see if he was going to say anything else before she slowly closed the door.

\- - -

It was far too late to go around looking for Hubert.

Even so, it wasn't in his nature to sit around and put things off. He wanted to give the blanket back as soon as possible. And yet, his sense of propriety dictated that he go see Hubert at a reasonable hour.

He sat on his bed and pulled off his boots, massaging the soles of his feet. They stung. 

"What would Hubert like...? Maybe a poem? Does Hubert like poetry? He must. What noble does not like poetry?"

Lying back against his pillows, Ferdinand began to think of things to write. It was not as easy as he thought it would be. Trying to think of things that rhymed was putting him to sleep.

"Hubert is cruel - No, that's an insult..." Ferdinand mumbled. "Hubert is quiet, Hubert is dark... Hubert is strong and... stalwart and dark?"

He hated it. He hated everything about it.

"My Hubert is quiet, my Hubert is fair... His spells and his voice are wont to ensnare...?" He huffed loudly. "I also should probably not call him 'my Hubert'. I think he would flay me alive for that... 'Our Hubert' then?"

"Our Hubert is crafty, our Hubert is bold. Our Hubert is sour and dour and cold...?" Ferdinand a grunt of frustration. "Those are still insults!" 

It was proving very difficult to talk about Hubert's good points without mentioning that as an effective spymaster, tactician, and loyal retainer, he was also efficient in his methods, able to act without reservations even in the most complicated of situations, and he was brutal and grimly intelligent.

"Stoic and just, he does what he must. In the shadows he'll hide to see what's inside?"

Very quickly, he was realizing that he was not a poet. But if he kept at it, he might make Hubert burst into laughter, or die of shame.

"This... will be the most difficult task of my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write more characters in this chapter but I got lazy so we'll see some new people next chapter.
> 
> For the record, I spelled Linhardt as "Lindhardt" 13 times. I'll get his name right one day. Someday. Maybe.
> 
> Meanwhile Byleth is laughing at Ferdinand as he tries to return a lost item to the wrong person over and over.


End file.
